27 February, 2009

Stefan Richter Group on Facebook

Come, join the Stefan Richter fan group on Facebook. If you're a true fan, you'll be there with your Cocky Chef shirt on begging to know when his book releases!

Stefan Richter Fan Group!

26 February, 2009

Brian Austin Green Back on the Market, ladies...

It's a little known fact that I am a secret Beverly Hills 90210 fan. From Brenda and Dylan through Dylan and Kelly and on into Kelly and Brandon, I have literally seen at least 85% of the episodes of the entire series, some of them more than once. Am I proud? Damn straight. The original 90210 was quality 1990s entertainment, not that it actually portrayed the 90s realistically, save for portraying some of the worst music ever created, where else besides daytime TV can you see best friends stay best friends even after trading off boyfriends over and over and over again.

So the word is, Brian Austin Green, who played David Silver on the original series, is back on the market, gals. Though I popped by IMDb to see if he was still as cutesy as he was back in the late 90s, but sadly the last nine years have not been so kind to Davi--I mean Brian. So what's next now that he and Megan Fox are un-engaged? I hope he and Donna Martin get back together. We all know they belong together. *wink*

25 February, 2009

What Really Makes a Top Chef??

As I'm sure all of you Top Chef Fans know, Hosea Rosenberg won the title of Top Chef. I am so disappointed. I've been waving the Stefan banner high all season because despite Tom Colicchio's claim that there is no soul in his food, I just don't buy it. Stefan has more personality in his pinky finger than jealous, trash-talking Hosea has in his entire body.

The judges chose Hosea, and since I was not there and did not actually taste the dishes myself, I can't say they were wrong. Clearly the method for deciding who is really Top Chef is flawed. In the end, I know it boils down to the dish of the day, but Stefan was far more consistent throughout the entire season than Hosea, and many of Hosea's failures (including throwing the lovely Ariane under the bus by not helping her cut the meat when he knew how...) just make it hard to find any kind of congratulations for him. I realize it's television and they hype up the drama, but after he won all he seemed to care about was that he beat Stefan.

While I was pulling for Stefan, I would have much rather seen Carla win than Hosea. I would not have been disappointed in her winning at all. That woman has got SOUL, and anyone who cooks with love in mind is a-okay in my book.

In my heart, Stefan won. He is clearly the better chef (person), and according to this mornings LA Times interview, he's got a lot of great things coming up in the future. He has a memoir coming out in May... I'll be buying that, and his starting his own line of clothing called "Cocky Chef." Good luck, Stefan. We will certainly miss seeing that sexy, cynical smile every Wednesday night.

Stefan, you're always welcome to come cook for me, and I promise I will never tell you to pack your knives and go home. ;)

Bamber Goes Bare for Bears... Why, Jamie? Why?

Don't get me wrong. Like most women (and men in the gay community,) I certainly won't complain when Battlestar Galactica's Jamie Bamber takes off his clothes. In fact, one of my secret favorite episodes of BSG is "Final Cut," in which Bamber appears for a fraction of a moment in nothing but a loosely draped towel. He has a body that just won't quit, but PETA, Jamie? Seriously, PETA? How much did he actually know about PETA before he signed up for that?

In all seriousness, I am all about animals. I love animals. I have three pets at home and they are a joy to have around. They brighten our lives and make us laugh regularly. That doesn't mean I'm going to rush out and join PETA, because PETA is bad. Why is PETA bad? Here, let Penn and Teller tell you all about them:

Penn & Teller: Bullshit PETA, Part 1
(These videos may contain language which is considered offensive to some people... watch at your own risk)


Part 2


Part 3


I know, I know, this is a touchy issue. People in Hollyweird LOVE PETA. Celebrities jump on this bandwagon and promote its principles without thinking of what PETA is really asking them to do. All the skinny actresses can go vegan. There's nothing wrong with veganism. It's a personal choice that I have absolutely no interest in making for myself or my family. I choose organic instead. Organic farming is cruelty free, toxin free and I can still enjoy a chicken sandwich at the end of the day and scrambled eggs and french toast on Sunday morning if I want to.

The thing that irks me about PETA is that they parade around touting animal rights, but then commit acts of physical and mental violence against PEOPLE. Are we not still part of the animal kingdom? And if we step outside our human skin long enough to look at the other animals in the animal kingdom, are lions not chasing down antelope for dinner? Okay, so we are of higher consciousness and awareness, supposedly. If that is so true then why the violence against our fellow man? Makes you wonder.

So to Mr. Bamber... I think you're incredibly sexy, and I'm all about bears. They're my totem animal, you know. They're beautiful and majestic, and if you want to take your clothes off to go against the inhumane treatment of bears, I have this friend who's an excellent photographer... We'll start a new campaign called Go Bare for Bears, or whatever you want to call it. We'll sell t-shirts and give all the proceeds to programs that actually help bears in the wild. We just won't affiliate with that terrorist group known as PETA. So, whaddaya say? Feel like strippin' it down again? Only this time for a more rational group of animal lovers?

Photobucket

22 February, 2009

Things I've Learned from Watching Battlestar Galactica: Part One

Lesson One: "Sometimes you've got to roll the hard six."--Commander Bill Adama


No matter what television series you prefer, you can almost guarantee that here are lessons within to be learned, philosophical underlyings that linger long after you've turned of the TV and gone about your daily life. One of the most profound television series to have been created (or should I say recreated,) in my lifetime is Battlestar Galactica, the reimagined series. For those not familiar with the series, let's just say that man created cylons to make daily living easier. The cylons were essentially slaves, designed to carry out the mundane tasks that humanity no longer had time for. As the cylons evolved, they rebelled and there was war between man and his machines. Eventually the machines discovered a way to integrate themselves so closely into the fabric of humanity so as to be indistinguishable from them. The cylons created humanoid models in man's image, and then they attacked the Twelve Colonies of Kobol, wiping out all of mankind, save for about 50,000 survivors. Yikes. There are Twelve cylon models. Some of them were programmed to believe that they were human beings, but underneath the programming they were designed to carry out sabotage. In the beginning the humans had no idea that the cylons looked like them, but they soon found out.

The series follows the journey of all that is left of humanity, as the cylons chased them through galaxy after galaxy. In the beginning the hope of discovering Earth, the thirteenth colony, was used by the military and government leaders to keep humanity's spirits high.

Because there are only 50,000 humans left and their situation is absolutely dire, you would think that their experiences would have little relevancy to our own, but nothing could be further from the truth. They are still people, still governed by a political body and protected by the military. They face hunger issues, health issues, terrorism, religious struggles and an enemy so righteous they will not stop until humanity itself is eradicated from the universe.

During my time as a fan of the series I have learned a great deal. For example: appearances really are deceiving and the word frak is pretty much interchangeable with fuck in ways that would make your grandmother's dentures fall out.

One of the most important lessons I recall learning over the extent of the series took place near the end of season one. The fleet has already more or less exhausted their tylium (fuel) resources and only have enough tylium left for two jumps. The people are concerned about what will happen if the fleet runs out of fuel, as they will be left like sitting ducks for the cylons if they don't stay on the move. While out on patrol, Sharon "Boomer" Valerii and Alex "Crashdown" Quartararo discover an asteroid teeming with tylium. Unfortunately the asteroid is also a cylon refinery, meaning that the fleet will have to look elsewhere.

This is where the lesson comes in. Commander William Adama decides that they can't just let the tylium go so easily. They are coasting on fumes as it is, and the best solution is to get in there and take the cylons by surprise. He commissions viper pilot, Kara "Starbuck" Thrace, to come up with an out of the box plan to do away with the cylons and take the tylium for themselves. During the mission, Adama pulls a risky ace out of his sleeve and tells President Laura Roslin, "Sometimes you've got to roll the hard six."

Have there ever been clearer words to live by? Whether you're flipping a coin to decide if you should go with paper or plastic or making a life or death decision, sometimes you have to take the necessary risk, ie., roll the hard six. The phrase originated from the game of craps, in which a hard six is achieved by rolling two threes on six-sided dice. The probability of the hard six is very low, but the profitability pays seven to one. It's a huge gamble, but the outcome is much more desirable, and in a situation where you have no choice you've got to take a gamble.

Risk is a terrifying thing. It holds many of us back from going for new jobs, keeps us from stepping outside our boundaries. In some cases the fear of it becomes a disease that limits people from leaving their home, but without risk we need to ask ourselves, "are we really living our lives to the highest potential we can?" Without a little risk, and in some cases a lot of risk, the answer is no. And if we fail, we fail, but we won't know unless we try.

To truly experience life and all it has to offer you've got to take a chance sometimes, or in the words of Commander Bill Adama, "Sometimes you've got to roll the hard six." I hope the next time you're debating over whether or not you should risk it, roll the hard six and see where you wind up.

21 February, 2009

Chef Eric Ripert gets his own TV series...

At Last!!! For those of us who enjoy the culinary expertise, dashing smile and fabulous French accent of Le Bernardin's Chef Eric Ripert there's good news. You no longer have to wait for Eric to make special guest appearances on Bravo TV's Top Chef to catch a glimpse of tha fabulous grin. This fall on PBS, Eric will be hosting his own series titled, "Avec Eric." Ten episodes chock full of foodie heaven, the series will be modeled after episodes of Ripert's online cooking tips at his personal site, Avec Eric.

Over the last couple months, Chef Ripert has been hosting a series of toaster oven quickies called "Get Toasted" on his personal website, Avec Eric. Complete with video, written instruction and the full recipe for each dish, he's offered a ton delicious ideas that can be cooked right inside your toaster oven. Judging from the quality and creativity of this online video series, we can obviously expect great things from his upcoming television series.

Congratulations, Chef Ripert. We look forward to seeing your smiling face this fall on PBS!

20 February, 2009

Previously on Battlestar Galactica...

Woo! It's Friday! How do I know? You know how I know. Friday means Battlestar Galactica and I never miss a Friday. Frak all what I'll do with my life in a month when the series finally comes to a close. I don't even want to think about it.

As you all know, last week on Battlestar Galactica, the bullet lodged in Sam's brain gave hihm all of his cylon life memories back. As Tigh, Tory and Chief gathered around to hear about their purpose and their mission, Starbuck stood by fretting that at any given moment Sam was going to lapse into a coma and be done. Suddenly all of their troubles in the past have been washed away by the bare reality that Starbuck has NO idea who or what she really is, and Sam means something to her again.

One of the groups I belong to online had tossed about some very fascinating theories about last weeks episode, including the possible identity of the mysterious #7 cylon, Daniel, who was contaminated maliciously by the #1, in a very Cain and Abel way. There have been theories that the #7 is actually Starbuck and that her DNA was altered so that Daniel became female. There is also a theory that Daniel is perhaps Starbuck's father, and that she is actually the first cylon-human hybrid. Then there is the theory that Gaius Baltar could still be a cylon, and he is the coveted #7.

Ellen described Daniel to Boomer as an artist... There is a scene on New Caprica where Gaeta is sitting in the chair drawing in a notepad. What if it turns out that it was Gaeta? The writers have often revealed cylons in the most insane places. Just take a look at four of the final five. Ellen, Saul, Chief and Sam were all very deeply involved in the resistance. Wouldn't it almost make sense that Gaeta, who had such a hard time dealing with the cylons and what they had done to humanity, turned out to be a cylon himself?

Possibilities. And speaking of possibilities, now that Boomer is returning to the Galactica with Ellen, this is the perfect opportunity for Chief and Boomer to come together again. They were so in love and both suffered so deeply that it would be such a wonderful thing to see them happy and together again. How will Boomer be received by the crew? Can Adama forgive her? He once cared for her very deeply, which is evident in his relationship with Athena. That relationship would not have been made possible without the prior softness for Boomer.

As the show came to a close last Friday, they centered on Sam's brain death. Selfish Starbuck pushing it to the limit and then losing him... I read somewhere that with Chief using the organic cylon compound to repair the Galactica's cracks, that the ship itself would become a cylon ship and what if Sam became the Galactica's hybrid. The frantic emotion in his chatter before the surgery was reminiscent of the baststar hybrids. End of line.

With less than five and a half hours until tonight's episode airs, there are tons of questions on my mind. I can't wait to settle in and find out more of the answers we've all been waiting for for the last six years.

19 February, 2009

Write an Essay and Lower your Cholesterol...

Before there was Mahalo Answers there were these fantastic little tutorials called "Mahalo How Tos." These amazing pieces of information still circulate the net, and new topics are added to the ever-expanding list completed How Tos every day. This is just a small smackerel of what Mahalo can show you how to do... and be sure to check out How to Write an Essay and How to Self-Publish Your Book (cos I wrote those!)

18 February, 2009

Farewell to Fabio

I was not expecting the last three chefs to get eliminated to have another chance to go onto the finale, but there they were, Leah, Jamie and Jeff in New Orleans and cooking crawfish for Emeril for the coveted opportunity to get back in the game. Of course, my utter lethargy toward all things Leah and Jamie had me yawning in the armchair, and thankfully it was Jeff who wowed Lagasse's taste buds. The catch: Jeff had to win the elimination challenge in order to go on to the finale, but sadly, Jeff was not strong enough to match the force that has become Carla!

Of course my husband and I were both outraged that they brought back someone from the past anyway. After all, there are no do overs. I was surprised that Fabio didn't say, "This is Top Chef, not Top Redo." Once you get chopped off, you don't grow back into the cast, but with two chefs to be eliminated before the finale, this upped the stakes, providing three slots instead of two.

Stefan, Stefan, Stefan. I've been blogging my love of your arrogance these last few weeks, smoothing it over as confidence, but this week that over-confidence almost got you sent home for the third time. On the edge of my seat I kept saying, "Please, please let Fabio's pasta be too typical because I know that Stefan is better than this!" And I do love your attitude about not stressing at your age... I'm thirty-three... stress is crap. It kills. I agree one hundred percent, but Tom Colicchio wants to see you sweat, or he's going to think you don't care if you win or lose. We're pulling for you, still. I've got my Stefan is #1 T-shirt and the big foam finger. Next Wednesday I will sit down with my popcorn and shout at the TV in your honor. I still believe that you deserve to win, but Carla is coming up hot on your heels and Hosea is taking things gangsta personal.

I have to say I was very sad to see Fabio go. He's endeared himself to audiences all across the Top Chef board with his stories and his quirky quotes. I definitely want one of the first "This is Not Top Pussy" T-shirts, or even one that says, "This is Not Top Scallop." I had such high hopes of him battling against Stefan and Carla in the finale, but alas, all good things must come to an end. I hope that the exposure from the series itself bodes well for the future of his business.

I don't want to talk about Hosea. Yeah. He did well tonight, but I think Jeff did better than he did, and Carla won, so end of Hosea discussion. Other than that I'm so sad that he's going onto the finale and if he wins, I'll scream. Literally.

Carla has come such a long way. Early on in the competition she was so often on the bottom, but now that the pressure is really on, she's amazing. Girl can come cook for me anytime she wants! That oyster stew looked scrumptious.

Overall, it was a great episode. I just wish that Stefan could see that his overconfidence is what knocks him off his game every time. It's okay to know you're already the Top Chef, but shh, keep it a secret until Padma says it out loud, Stefan. ;)

Come and Get your Oscar

I'm a big movie lover, but I have to tell you, I very rarely pay attention to which films are up for academy awards, which actors and actresses cried the hardest and laughed the longest. I forget that there are short films floating all over these film festivals until the Oscars roll around and you catch the buzz here or there.

Well, if you need to brush up on the Oscars before the big day, mahalo's got you covered:



There will also be live coverage during the airing, so stay tuned for more juicy tidbits!

BAM! You're Outta Here!

So here it is Wednesday. I know, I know, it's bad that I only know the days of the week by what televisions show is on that night, but it hasn't been so bad being only consciously aware of Wednesdays and Fridays these last few weeks. Wednesday is Top Chef night, as anyone who is ANYONE can tell you, and tonight kicks off the first half of a two week season finale.

The finale four (somehow I keep confusing them with the final four surviving cylons on Battlestar Galactica, and it's only the fact that it's Wednesday that keeps me straight...) are off to New Orleans, Louisiana, where they will face off against one another in Emeril Lagasse style challenge. Emeril (BAM!) will not only be acting as a guest judge, but will be responsible for helping the judges choose TWO of the final four to go on to next week's final round: the Top Chef FACEOFF! That means two will be eliminated. (I can perform basic math skills! WOO!)

If you've been watching, and I KNOW you have, of the original seventeen contestants Hosea, Carla, Fabio and Stefan are all that's left. According to some of the discussion I've seen floating around on Eric Ripert's personal website, there's some kind of mistake that was made during Eric's spot as guest judge two episodes earlier... Apparently people believe that my hero, Stefan Richter, should have been sent home. Stefan, who WON the elimination challenge during that episode, who was said by Eric Ripert in his blog recap of the show, to have cooked the lobster dish to 99% accuracy in comparison to the dish he was presented with.... but Stefan should have gone home, not Jamie.

Jamie whined through every episode, either moping about how doomed she was and how she couldn't possible win, or moaning about how she thought she should have won that challenge over "insert contestant name here." On top of all that whining, there was also the whole blah of her general attitude when it came to preparing dishes that she just "wasn't in to cooking," or that "weren't her style." Apparently she didn't hear Fabio when he said, "This is Top Chef, not Top Pussy!" Oh, wait, she was eliminated before he said that, sorry.

So my prediction on who is going to win tonight and go on to the final round... I know you're dying to hear it, so after consulting with an oracle who sees all of her visions in the grease stain on a fish and chips bag the answer is: Stefan Richter. Not only is Stefan going to win the challenge, but he's going to blow everyone else out of the water (as long as he doesn't get TOO confident, as we've seen both times he's been on the bottom it's been the direct result of that adorable ego of his.) Second to Stefan is going to be close. Fabio has come a long way, and I think it's possible he's been underestimated, but hot on his heels is Carla with her chef knives high, crying "Hootie Who!" The oracle has said to put her money Carla, and I concur. SO it's Carla and Stefan on to the final elimination cook-off. Hootie Who!

Notice how I did not include Hosea in the debate above? That's because in my mind, I sent Hosea home three episodes ago. It's my defense mechanism. The more smack he talks about Stefan, the more invisible he becomes. Why? Because I don't doubt that Hosea can dance his way around a kitchen, but I do doubt that he can stand against Stefan's twenty-some years of experience and training as a Chef. Stefan said himself last week, "I don't think Hosea has the balls to be a Chef." And in the end, it really boils down to the fact that Stefan is just a way hotter bald guy. BAM!

So if you can't wait until tonight to see the first three minutes of Top Chef, follows this link: Top Chef in New Orleans

And meet me back here after the show tonight and we'll dish about what Stefan was wearing when he kicked everyone's chef pants.

17 February, 2009

Who the Frak...

...jarked off in my frakkin' coffee? How is that NOT the best Colonel Tigh quote EVER?

Ladies and Gentlemen Mr. Kevin Pollak

I do know he does a mean Christopher Walken. Big things for Pollak in 2009, like a new movie he's producing about Sugar Ray Leonard.

Mahalo is like an entertainment crystal ball... it knows all:

Kevin Pollak

WOLVERFUCKINGINE

Whew! Pardon my explicative...I had to take like four showers after I watched this video trailer for the new X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie coming this May:



I'm going to make a Wolverine and Gambit Sammich... yum. Don't you just love how the trailer stops on his bulging hairy chest. My GODS! I need a therapist.

And if the hot and sexy Wolverine isn't for you, here's one you might appreciate: